Thanks to some friends, I think I've finally found the coolest race on the planet. Warrior Dash is an event that takes place all over the US and apparently England, but it's not your typical race. The one in the Southeast is 3.2 miles (barely over 5k) with a wall to climb, a hill to repel down, platforms to leap frog to on water, and more. You even leap over fire! I'm going to begin training for this soon, mainly with running. There may be obstacles, but ultimately this is still a footrace.
Don't be surprised when I post pictures of myself with a viking hat in May ;-)